


From denial to acceptance

by Mary2442



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24856270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary2442/pseuds/Mary2442
Summary: Hi everyone !This is an alternative ending for season 4 episode 8.Mac's father is dead and Riley finds a really weird Mac with unpredictable reactions.(Characters are not mine)Enjoy your reading !
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	From denial to acceptance

At the end of the day, Mac returned home alone. He had decided to do what he was alive for: Get down Codex. And more important, he had decided to start on the morning.   
He pushed his bedroom door violently and went under the hot water jet in the shower. He was starting to make a plan in his head. How he gonna find Codex, how he gonna kill their entire team and how he gonna confront his aunt.   
He has an aunt ! First news ! How his father could hide it from him ? And why all the member of his family were so involved in the destruction or protection of the planet and its population ?

Suddenly, he had a flash. He gets out of the shower and exit rapidly the bathroom, putting his pajama pants, clumsily. He entered into the living room, drying his hair with the towel, before dropping it on the floor, on his way to the cellar. He went up quickly, with all he needed to construct his bomb catapult.   
Yes, his idea was to build a bomb catapult. Then, he would only have to find the location of Codex new place and throw the bigger bomb he never built. He will thus destroy Codex equipment, team and saving the world ! This was the plan, and he loved it ! 

He was grateful for Bozer to let his stuffs from his movies at his home, because now he had everything he needed to do what he wanted to make.   
He was starting to assemble all the pieces together with a soldering iron, when Riley came home.

“Mac ? Are you at home ?”, she asked from the door entrance.

“Oh ! You're here, perfect !”, he said coming to meet her in the kitchen.

“Mac, what are you doing ?”, she was shocked. 

It was midnight and he had just lost his father. She thought she gonna comes home and find him in his couch crying, but, instead of that, he was facing her, shirtless, his hands covered with something like car grease. More worrying, he looked determined and almost happy...

Mac looked at her face and followed her gaze to see his hands:

“Oh, yeah, don't worry, it's nothing.” 

He tried without really thinking about it, to remove the grease, rubbing his hands.

“Okay,...”, she was puzzled.

“I need you to find Codex location.”

“I already launched a program to find it, but it's gonna take time.”

“You don't understand, I need you to find it before the morning.”

“If I could I will but I can't. Mac, we have time, it can wait ten hours, time that you need to deal with what happened today.”

“It can't wait, I will be finished the catapult in the morning !”, he took a knife and a spoon into the cupboard and an ice-cream chocolate pot into the freezer. 

Then, he led her to the living room. She stopped at the border between what was the house and what looked more like a field of military operation. She opened her mouth to ask if he had planned to go to the moon but nothing came, maybe she was too shocked to humor.

“I know, like that it looks more like a big tank in spare parts. Can you pass me the microwave and the CD player, please ?”

She groaned to herself, it was weird, even for Mac.  
She reacts in slow motion, but did what he asked. This was the only thing that proves her that she had Mac in front of her and not a clone. He was always asking about random things to build not really daily and usual things. That part of him was on, but where was the other parts of him ? The attentive part, the benevolent part and, especially, the rational part ? All these parts, made him who he was and more importantly kept him steady. Now, he was scaring her.

“Thank you”, he said when she gave him the equipments.

“Mac, I am sorry to say that, but, I'm worried.”, she looked at him septic and afraid.

“Don't be, I swear I know what I'm doing, the house not gonna blow up this night.”

She said nothing, nothing came.

“Okay, so, come here.”, he designated a little zone where he had left her a place on the couch and he put the ice cream chocolate pot and the spoon on the table for her.

He was worrying her, but at the same time, she couldn't help but feels touched by this attention.  
He didn't know why, but knowing that she would be here and worked near him was comforting him from something he felt in his heart and couldn't explain. Like if his heart was about to break, and she was maintaining it together. It was a thing he would take the time to take care of but not now, not today and not before he would have killed Codex !

She joined him on the couch and opened her laptop, it announced her only five percent of researched, she huffed:

“Five percent”, she reported to him.

“Riles, I know you can do it, please ?”, he almost begged her.

She thought a moment to hack the NSA system to be able to find more quickly Codex base, but stopped herself. Washington DC, wasn't aware of this mission yet and hacking the NSA wouldn't help much, except maybe, take away the little freedom they could still afford to take.  
She couldn't tell that to Mac. She looked around them to find another subject. What about the elephant in the room: her eyes met a new time the big thing that laid in the living room, she could see a part of it passed through the window and when she stood up she saw the engine ending outside, on the terrace.

“Mac, seriously what is that for ?”

Mac get up and looked at his unfinished creation, his shoulders were tense:

“I told you, this is a catapult.”, he glanced at her with this determined look.

“Yeah, can I know what you plan to catapult with it ?”

“A bomb.”

“I'm sorry ?”, she opened her eyes wide in shock.

He looked at her directly in the eyes, his wet hair, dripping on his face:

“A bomb Riles.”, he repeated in a cold tone.

“Where ?”

“On Codex base !”

She frowned and put her life back in perspective for a minute: throwing a bomb on Codex, yes, of course, why not ? everything was normal, freaking but completely normal, she would need some days off after that.   
She took a deep breathe and admitted to herself that it could be their last chance, but Mac had always been the one, who looked for the softer plan, the less lethal.

“Where is the bomb now ?” she knew there was no way to discuss that for now, he was too stubborn.

“I didn't make it yet”

“Great.”, she felt relieved. 

“Riley, are you with me or against me ?”, he asked suspiciously.

“I am with you Mac, but I think that you need some rest.”

He moved away from her and crossed the window like if it was just an opened door. Again, not really unusual. She followed.

“I don't have time for that, I need to be prepared for the morning.”

“Okay, what's the plan ? I locate Codex, you catapult a bomb on it and kill a lot of people, included your aunt, and after what ? You come home and take time to sleep and cry while wondering how many people you killed and if you didn't make a wrong choice ?”

Mac observed her for a second before kneeling down and continue his work saying nothing. She found herself taken aback. It was complex to deal with this irrational Mac while he was shirtless: the situation was so improbable, unthinkable. 

“Mac ? I asked you something.”, she tried.

“I'll do it with or without you.”, he whispered in a neutral tone.

She had a backward movement, he had never spoken to her like that. He scared her, like if his humanity was gone. She looked at him, thinking about the whole day, and then it hits her.   
He was in denial, and ready to kill everything and everyone on his way as long as he could avoid his emotions.   
She tested the waters:

“Matty, asked me to tell you that your father will be buried in two days.”

“Can you give me the pair of pliers which is on the table behind you ?”, he was avoiding her.

She gave it to him, a worried expression on her face. He took it without looking at her.  
For Riley it was a normal reaction in this kind of situation, but here, we were talking about Mac. He wasn't really a normal person, and didn't react as one. He had the power to kill who he wanted and his brain was his best weapon, how could she disarm him ?

“Mac, you can't kill all these people. Your aunt.”

“If you think I can't do it, it's just mean that you don't know me.”

Take that in the face Riley, she thought.

“I know you Mac, you are the most protective and best person I know, as much as Jack. You are the smartest, the most caring, reasonable, pleasant and human person that I met in my life. You are always ready, to help people, to love people, to encourage people. And this man in front of me, who wants to kill, maybe a hundred people, without even knowing who they are and what they exactly plan to do. This is not my friend, the man I met in prison more than three years ago. Because this man wanted to protect the people he loves, and the entire world, including all the persons into it, even when they were bad.”

He had stopped working, he was looking at her, examining her comments. During a millisecond she saw something in his eyes, emotion. But the millisecond after, it was gone. She was almost there.

“Things change”, he answered, bypassing the engine, so that it's between them.

“Not that.”, she had nothing to lose anymore, so she decided to push him “You gonna kill your aunt. The last member of your family !”

“No !”, he yelled at her, getting up.

“No, what ?”, she pushed deeper.

“She is not my family !”, he opens violently the little tap and washing his hands.

“Yes, she is, she's your mom's sister. Your aunt. The last person you have in your life who is the closer to family.”

“This is not true !”, he denied, drying harshly, his hands.

There it is. The main problem.

“Mac, your father is dead.”, she whispered, bypassing the structure, to prevent him to shut himself up.

He turned to face her and open his mouth to deny it, but it was too late.   
Riley could see him clench his jaw, all his muscles contract at the level of his arms, his chest and his stomach, bringing out his abs. He ran a hand nervously on his face and through his hair to try to fight against the sadness that overwhelmed him.

His eyes filled with tears and he found himself paralyzed by the pain in his chest. It had been too hard to deal with his emotions, so he had carefully cared for them deep inside when Desi had hugged him after the explosion. It had been the easy way. The explosion, which had killed his father. He was dead and he couldn't save him. Death is final. He closed his eyes and let his tears run down his cheeks. 

He felt Riley's warm body press gently against his. In the embrace, he hardly expired between sobs, realizing that he was holding his breath. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her as tight as he could. He needed that hug so badly. Her hands caressing, comfortably, his bare back made him shiver.

Riley's warm and strong body against him reminded him that wasn't a nightmare, but the reality, and suddenly, he felt his heart split in two. He had a flash of his father before leaving him alone in this room, he saw the explosion that had killed him, he remembered what he had felt when he understood that his father would not come back. Never came back home with him. He started to tremble, suddenly becoming aware, of the state of his life now: he had no mother, no father anymore and he was planning to build a weapon of mass destruction, dirty bomb to kill people he didn't even know. Was he so bad ? Perhaps the death of his father was revealing who he really was.   
This thought scared him, and he was suddenly perfectly aware of Riley's body between his arms. He released her quickly, stepping back to put distance between her and him, he didn't want to risk hurting her.

“What did I do ?”, he asked aloud, drying his tears.

“Mac, it's okay, currently, you did nothing wrong.”

She approached him with caution:

“No Riles, don't come closer ! I planned to kill people, oh my god !”, he took his head in his hands.

Riley was relieved, Mac was trying to protect her it was a good point. Problem, he was trying to protect her from him.

“Mac, you just lived a difficult day and, and you lost someone you love. This is a human reaction”

“No, Riles, if you weren't coming this night, who knows where I would be in less than eight hours ? Probably killing people, making bombs or-”

“We can't know what could happen if, because I am here. I live here, remember ? You told me that I could stay as long as I want and I think that I am going to stay for much longer than I thought.”, she smiled at him. 

Tears were running on his cheeks, but he smiled softly at her.

“I'm lost Riles.”, he sniffed.

She didn't know what to answer, so she came closer to him and hugged him again. He hugged her back.

“Thank you for being here.”, he huffed in her hair.

She nodded softly.

“You need some rest, stop this for tonight, and probably forever, okay ? Tomorrow you will have more clear ideas.”

“I'll can't sleep” 

“I know, but lying on a bed won't hurt you.”, she said, taking his hand and leading him in his bedroom.

She closed the curtain and look at him while he was lying on the bed. She hoped he will be okay, they needed him to protect the world, but she didn't want to put pressure on him. For now he needed to protect himself and being selfish if necessary.

“I am in the next room, if you need anything.”

“No, Riles, please, stay. I don't want to stay alone.”

She took a minute to think about it, then nodded.   
She left the bedroom for a few minutes and came back wearing her pajama.   
She gets closer, took off her shoes and lay down next to him in the same position, on her back, watching the ceiling. Mac had recreated several constellations onto it with a phosphorescent marker.

“This is magnificent.”, she told him.

“Yeah, when I was a little boy, I was scared in the dark. My mom always told me stories about reassuring things and that helped me to sleep peacefully. When she's dead, I made nightmares and woke up in the middle of he night and I saw shadows which took different monster shapes. I remember, one evening, I didn't want to go to bed, I wanted to stay on the roof to watch at the stars with my telescope. But my father had decided that it was time to sleep so I went to bed and I realized that I was more scared in my bedroom than on the dark night, I wondered why and I understood that it was because of the stars. So I got up and found, in the cellar, a fluorescent marker to reproduce a part of the sky on my ceiling. When I moved here, I knew it would be for a long time. Maybe it sounds weird, but I decided that it could be nice, to reproduce it here.” 

He smiled to himself. Riley saw it and took his hand.

“I love it, it's been a smart idea”

“I was a peculiar kid, I know.”, he sniffed, wiping a tear on his temple.

She laughs smoothly. She loved this Mac. 

“How did you learn to read the stars ?”

“My father taught me. He never talked about my mom, but he told me that she was observing me from above. Watching at the stars made me feel like I kept a kind of connexion with her.”, he passed a hand under his head. “Everything I know now, I learned it from him. Now, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”

“He taught you the basic stuffs, but you learned more with your experiences in the military, with your instructors, even in Phoenix. Everything you know came from you, this is not because he's not here anymore that you lost every knowledges you have. I know you can save the world, he told you that you are capable, he believes in you. It's up to you to choose the right way.”

“We can see where it leads me.”

“Forget the catapult, this wasn't a good idea, but this is how you proceed. You got an idea, and it doesn't work so, you improvise”

“Improvise”, he said at the same time.

“And you're the best for that. When you have some rest.”, she added.

“I miss him”, he confessed.

“I know well”, she turned to face him and opened her arms like an invitation for a hug.

He turned to the side and hugged her. She came closer to him and pressed her forehead against his.

“You know I'm here, right ? I mean that you can talk to me about everything. If you need to talk, or even just spending time with someone who loves you”, she whispered, her breath falling on his face.

He examined and contemplated her, smiling. He thinks that he could never have this kind of conversation with Desi. He who had doubts, he felt that his heart had just made a choice. The first great choice he had made for a long time and it was Riley. She was grinning at him waiting for him to tell her that he acknowledged what she wanted to mean.   
She was an amazing person he wasn't even sure that he deserved her, but he couldn't help him. He broke the contact between them and bowed his head before moving forward to kiss her. When his lips touched hers, he felt the whole world surrounding them disappear. It was soft and soothing like her.   
She deepens the kiss, running a hand through his hair to bring him closer. He embraced her, caressing her arms, neck and cheek. She was perfect.   
Finally, he broke the kiss. She looked at him adorably, she loved him and he could see it.

“We should stop this here.” she smiled at him to avoid misunderstanding, “You are not exactly in a good state to start this kind of relationship or even single anyways.”

He smiled at her stupidly.

“Yes, I'll talk with Desi, but I fell in love with you and I can't do or want to do anything against it.”, he murmured, suddenly so afraid to lose her.

“Me neither, but we have time.”, she reassured him.

He put his head on his pillow, thoughtful.

“Would you agree to accompany me to my father's funeral ?”, he asked her almost imperceptibly.

“Of course, Mac.”, she ran a hand in his hair softly.

“Thank you. Thank you to remind me who I am.”

She nodded, understanding.

“It's time to rest, try to sleep.”

He faced her and kissed her:

“Good night Riles”

“Good night Mac, have nice dreams”, she wished him.

This evening, he had through the whole possible emotions he could: the fear, the deny, the anger, the emotional void, then the fear again, the angst and the rancor. He had felt overwhelming, to, finally, beginning to confront the reality of his life, accept his emotions and starting to learn how to deal with it.   
At the end, he had made a choice, the first of a long series of good choices and synonymous with imminent changes in his life.  
Riley was the first choice he had made for a while without overthinking it and it was exactly why he was so comfortable with it. It was so innate. She was the woman with whom he wanted to face all the problems which could show up in his professional and personal life, and God knows there would be !

END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading !
> 
> I hope you liked it !
> 
> If you have some advices or comments, please let me know !


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